Choose Language

Close language selection.

How Do I Tell My Kids I Have Cancer?

by
5 Comments

We recently asked our Facebook audience what questions they have about dealing with cancer. Several people brought up how to talk with children about a parent’s diagnosis. I sat down with LIVESTRONG‘s Emotional Navigator and licensed counselor, Jerald Saenz, to get some tips. After you watch the video make sure to check out the links at the bottom of the post for more resources.

“Arthur booklet: When Someone You Know Has Cancer”:
ARTHUR is an animated series that airs daily on PBS Kids. Aimed at viewers between the ages of four and eight, ARTHUR’s goal is to help foster an interest in reading and writing, and to encourage positive social skills. This booklet includes a letter to families from Lance Armstrong and a read-aloud version of the Arthur episode, “The Great MacGrady,” along with ideas for initiating conversations, answering your child’s questions, and?as a family?reaching out and taking action. Available in English and Spanish.

LIVESTRONG at School Curriculum:
One in three people in the US will be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetime. That means children in your classroom are likely to be dealing with cancer right now?whether through a grandparent, parent, family member, friend or teacher. That’s why we developed the educational program, LIVESTRONG at School. Free, online lessons teach about cancer in a way that is age-appropriate, hopeful, inspiring and empowering. Parents with cancer can use this curriculum learn find age-appropriate ways to discuss cancer.

Wonders and Worries:
The impact of a parents serious illness on a child can be profound. It can affect their mental health, family functioning, school performance, friendships, growth and development, and overall adjustment. Wonders & Worries counsels children in understanding the situation and handling these potential negative effects. We give parents the resources and support to help their family work through such a crisis. Face-to-face support services are available in Austin, Texas and a comprehensive resource list is available on the Wonders and Worries website.

“Nowhere Hair” by Sue Glader:
“Nowhere Hair” is a children’s book that helps prepare young ones for living with someone going through chemotherapy. It does the heavy lifting, without being heavy and addresses a child’s guilt, fear, sadness and anxiety with a light touch. It is silly and upbeat and involves many crazy hats and a strikingly cool-looking bald woman.

LIVESTRONG Cancer Navigation Services:
At any point in your cancer experience, we provide free, confidential support through education, referrals and counseling services by phone (1-855-220-7777), email and face-to-face for those in the Austin and surrounding area.

  • http://Kidskonnected.org Jon Wagner-Holtz

    Also use great organizations like Kids Konnected, for kids that have a parent with cancer, started by kids for kids, started in 1993.

  • Pingback: Tweets that mention LIVESTRONG Blog » Blog Archive » How Do I Tell My Kids I Have Cancer? -- Topsy.com

  • http://lifeasiseeit.typepad.com/an_interesting_adventure/ Marsh Williams

    Our experience, an excerpt from the blog…

    If you looked at our photo, you know that we have three children — no, make that three fabulous children. Thankfully, Andrew, the oldest, is home for a season. By the grace of God, our daughter Annie is home from college this weekend to attend a wedding. We have decided to take advantage of having two out of three here, and tell them the little we do know about what’s going on while we’re all together. (The really down side of this is that our youngest daughter Sarah is away at boarding school. Faced with the dilemma of telling her at the same time — over the phone — or waiting until next Friday and flying over to tell her in person, we decide that she deserves to hear about it directly from us, face-to-face, so she can see that I don’t look or feel sick.)

    I got up, made the kids breakfast and dragged them out of bed — they are not early risers, so Carol and I definitely had them at a disadvantage doing it so early — to eat and talk together. We have arranged for our science adviser, Adel, to join us, too; the kids adore him and trust everything he has to say.

    The conversation went very well; Andrew and Annie are so spectacular. In an effort to avoid falling captive to that-which-shall-not-be-named, I made them each say, “Dad has cancer.” Then, as we were winding up, Andrew walked into the living room with the coffee pot and said, “…there’s one cup left. Who wants it?” Carol, Adel and I all wanted it, but I played the trump card and said “…I should get it…I have cancer.” We all broke up, Andrew threatened to pour it on my head, and we began to imagine scenarios where we could play the C-card to our advantage. The laughter-release was wonderful.

    The rest of the day was just spent processing.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Katherine-Brown/569287817 Katherine Brown

    You have accomplished such as I have. I have told my twins THE TRUTH about my cancer.

  • http://www.NowhereHair.com Sue Glader

    Katherine and Marsh: yes the truth. It’s what kids deserve and it teaches them that the hard things can be faced with dignity and hope and love. It’s a great lesson. sue